So – it’s been approximately 1,200 days since I posted anything here. I feel like that is indicative of how I
mismanage my entire life – lots of procrastination and just a general lack of desire to do things I am not in the mood to do – including small talk, dusting furniture, and returning items to the store within the allotted time for a full refund.
However, many times (often many times a day) I have thoughts that I think need to be shared, such as “Why do people find it necessary to dispense half a can of air freshener when they poop? It doesn’t help, and I can feel all of those chemicals going right into my body. No thank you, I am suffocating.” We have got to crack down on workplace violence, people.
Anywho, trending topics like that, and other relevant information should be shared. Maybe Facebook or Twitter are more appropriate outlets, but I prefer this blog which I am very obviously highly dedicated to. Also, I feel like people have to read about my general disdain for other humans if I post it on Facebook. Most likely they are going to scroll past it, read it, and think that I am a real
bwitch. On a blog, you have to come to me. You have to seek out my rantings, so it’s a little less invasive, I think. I don’t have a lot of friends (because, small talk) so it’s like picking up the phone and calling your BFF to complain about how the rest of the world has displeased you without actually having to pick up the phone and talk to anyone. It’s very one-sided, and that’s very me.
Speaking of random – below is an entry that I started, also about 1,200 days ago. I’m happy to report that said leg-licker now has a new home…because I was fostering him, not because I gave him away for licking my legs.
Willie ..cat.. recently woke me up on two separate occasions by licking my legs.
It was a persistent, unrelenting bath sesh that registered as pain once I realized what the hell was happening to me.
I had to make him stop because –
A. cats licking humans is weird, and
B. cats licking humans is abrasive
As you know, cats are known for their “I don’t f’ing care about you at all. I literally could not care less than I already do.” attitude. So I can’t even tell you how happy it makes me when they show me love, but I think he crossed the line.
So, to recap – I’m back for today, unleashing my issues with someone who has issues with air freshener, and letting you know that 3+ years ago a cat was licking my legs.
As usual, exciting things are happening around here.